It couldn't have happened at a better time. I was half-prepared to deal with crises of such magnitude that would perhaps shake my sanity. It isn't exaggerated prose but simple truth.
Some time spent reading about the problem on the Internet, the diagnosis and treatment, over and over again and I am left with nothing. Idiopathic or unknown cause is perhaps unknown cure too.
When I sit up, with the blindfolds on, I want to feel something, even though the pain cannot be wished away. Except the pain, anything.
What I have learnt in this phase, is that you cannot force the hand of time. It crawls, slithers and is a soulless beast, and nothing I do, can make it turn either way. Filling the unforgiving minute, as Kipling wrote, I can't seem to run to fill the distance.
What's amusing is that wearing blindfolds and sipping tea, I feel none of those zen thoughts that usually can strike someone. Instead, it is a mechanical exercise. You just sit, and wait. You finish your tea, put away the tray and lie down. And nothing.
Losing weight
That's been a problem unto itself. How does a doctor expect that someone who is grappling with hours of headaches, fight off the disorder with exercises? It is laughable but frustrating.
They put you on pills and forget to tell you about side effects. They say you cannot be trusted with surgery because of low pressure headaches.
Still searching for answers.
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