When you are young, you should experience. when you're old you should talk

This is better than the first thought that struck me, which was that one needs to talk about whatever it is to feel lighter. Then, it dawned on me that it's better to just let go of the thought and continue with what you are doing. Now, I think the first thought was better! Whatever I feel, I can log it like some numbers. Maybe some day they will add up to who I am. Now that I am done with stream of consciousness, of which I am reminded of by another friend today, let me tell you what I am thinking.

There's a persistent thing with me about not getting jokes. And, it is a perpetual happening. Just this morning, a friend was trying hard to cheer me up and sends a forward e-mail (ask me to send it to you). But, I didn't get the joke in the e-mail. You feel like Joey at such moments, you know, to cite the American sitcom. Everyone around you is laughing and sharing things, and you feel isolated, because you've clearly missed the point. At my birthday dinner, there were three jokes I can count on my fingers, which I didn't get! And everyone around was not only tickled to their bones about the joke, my blank face further offered entertainment.

This is not a modesty plea of being whatever you might think fit to call me now. But, certainly, there's no way to sort this confusion about why I don't get it versus unless you keep facing it. Things clearly don't come to me. These days I miss it when there is genuine humour too. And, by that I mean real lightheartedness. "What does he mean?" "Oh, he was kidding." or, "I am kidding" ! ...What is wrong?!! I have become a ball of nerves.